Confession at Patriot

Being in the presence of a 50 year old man losing his temper is uncomfortable. Seeing him lose it over a game that involves throwing circular plastic and avoiding trees is awkward and sad.

I wish I could say that I have not make my card mates occasionally feel discomfort, rob them of joy on the course. But I have.
I write this as a means of confession. It’s something I’m not proud of. I want to be a better person.

On July 5, six of us played a round at Patriot DGC. It was a hot day but nice.
Noah aced #7, which was a real delight to witness and a cause of great celebration. He said it was his first ace in maybe 15 years!
It was a highly contested battle but after #17 I was up one over 3 of my cardmates. I needed only to match to win. My drive on the par 4 #18 went awry, but I managed the upshot to give me a long C1 look for a birdie. I thought my one cardmate, Pedro, had made it to middle C1 for a birdie putt, (a putt I was confident he would make) and so I needed to get mine to win. I pulled the putt and it sailed past 15ft. I thought I had lost as Pedro made his putt. But then no, when I was scrambling I had missed an additional shot he made. He had carded a 4; I needed only to make this 15ft putt to match him and win.
I know myself. In these situations I typically weak arm it and hit basket. That would be the worst. I resolve not to do that.

The sound.

I hit band and the disk fell hard to the dirt.

But of course. Of course I would do that. That was the stupidest, lamest thing a disc golfer could do, so of course I did it.

I exploded and cursed myself and my discs and the game. In 30 seconds I was spent, having spewed my fury and vitriol. I looked around and it was awkward.

I made them uncomfortable. I had robbed them of some of the joy that comes with an evening’s recreation with friends.

They were so gracious to me. They know me. I am fortunate to have kind cardmates. But that is not permission to behave poorly. Instead, it drives me to my knees.

Heavenly Father,

I come before You with a heavy heart, confessing my sin on the disc golf course today. I allowed frustration to get the better of me, and my anger flared. In my outburst, I made my cardmates feel uncomfortable, and for that, I am truly sorry. My actions were not a reflection of Your love, nor of the spirit of sportsmanship I strive to embody.

Please forgive me, Lord, for losing my temper and for the discomfort I caused. Help me to cultivate patience and self-control, both on and off the course. Guide me to be a better example of Your grace, to treat others with respect and kindness, regardless of my performance on the course.

I pray for my cardmates, that they may not hold my actions against me, and that our next round together might be filled with joy and good fellowship. Strengthen me, Father, to grow in humility and to always remember that my attitude matters more than my score.

In Your merciful name, Amen.